Happy Monday, friends! 👋

Welcome to year TWO of The RESET Room! 🎉

Well, I've done it again.

Had an entire conversation in my head, decided what someone was thinking, figured out why they did what they did, and gotten myself irritated about the whole thing.

The only problem?

The other person wasn't even part of the conversation, and the real story that revealed itself later was totally different. 😂

Sound familiar?

It's amazing how quickly we can take a little bit of information, try to fill in the missing pieces, and convince ourselves we know exactly what's going on.

And sometimes, before we've even checked whether our assumptions are correct, we've already decided how we're going to respond.

🧩 It's like having a puzzle that's missing pieces, and we're trying to just to make it look finished.

We're reacting to a story we created, not necessarily to what actually happened.

🧠 The Story Isn't Always the Truth

Our brains don't like unanswered questions. So when we don't have all the information, we tend to fill in the blanks by shoving in our own puzzle pieces.

Oftentimes our puzzle pieces are from totally different puzzles.

And guess what we often use?

Our past experiences. Our insecurities. Our frustrations. Sometimes even our worst fears.

The problem isn't that we have these thoughts. We all do.

The problem starts when we treat our interpretation as it is the truth and respond according to that viewpoint.

We withdraw. Get defensive. Become irritated. Maybe even start an argument.

All over something our version of the puzzle that we haven't actually confirmed.

💡 Here's the RESET

The next time you catch yourself deciding what someone meant, why they did something, or what they're thinking, try pausing on coming up with your own puzzle pieces and try replacing your assumption with a little curiosity.

Instead of deciding "They're obviously upset with me," consider asking:

"Hey, something seems a little off. Are we okay?"

One simple question can sometimes prevent a whole lot of unnecessary tension.

Of course, this doesn't mean ignoring patterns, dismissing true concerns, or pretending people never have bad intentions.

It simply means recognizing the difference between what you know and what you've decided it means.

👇🏻Read the Coparent RESET or scroll down for final RESET.

👨‍👩‍👧 Coparent RESET: When You Assume the Worst

Your coparent asks to change the pickup time.

Immediately, you think:

Here we go again. They're trying to control everything.

Maybe even oftentimes they have been difficult. But maybe something genuinely came up.

When there's a history of conflict, it's easy to interpret every new interaction through the lens of old frustrations.

Before reacting, consider whether you're responding to the actual request or to the intention YOU assigned to it.

You can ask for clarification, maintain your boundaries, and still avoid assuming things you haven't confirmed.

Not every request has to become another battle.

🌿 Your Final RESET: Stop Forcing the Pieces

Here's my challenge for you this week.

The next time you catch yourself getting upset about what someone must be thinking or why they must have done something, stop and ask:

"What do I actually KNOW... and what story am I trying to add?"

And here's the harder part.

What if you're wrong?

What if that person wasn't ignoring you, judging you, or intentionally trying to upset you?

What if the missing pieces of the story are nothing like the ones you've been trying to force into place?

🧩 You don't have to finish a puzzle when you don't have all the pieces.

And you don't have to react to a story before you know whether it's true.

Sometimes the most powerful RESET isn't changing someone else's behavior.

It's realizing YOU may have been arguing with a story that NEVER actually happened or was going to happen.

📚 A Little Something Extra

If this week's topic hit home, here's a resource worth exploring:

​Don't Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen.​

It's a book about stepping back from the thoughts that keep us stuck in worry, overthinking, and unnecessary emotional distress.

Bottom line...You don't have to finish a puzzle when you don't have all the pieces.

Let it be ok for your puzzle to have a view open spots until you explore more options and logically decide what pieces go there.

Hit reply and let me know if any of this hits home to you or

--if you are a recovering "puzzle piece filler" or

--if you have any good strategies you use to help you not do this.

Until next Monday,

Tina 💜