Welcome to the latest edition of The Reset Room, where you will receive tips, strategies and insights about all things mental health with a focus on ways to do a reset on some of the things in your life that may be leading to distress.

Overthinking is Procrastination with Intellect - Episode 38

Hi friends! 👋

I hope you’ve had a great week!

Last week we talked about letting go of what we can’t control. This week, I found myself reflecting on another thinking trap that has tripped me up more times than I’d like to admit…

Overthinking.

I recently heard a quote on a podcast that immediately made me stop and think:

Ouch.

Because it sounded less like a quote… and more like someone had been reading my journal.

For nearly two years, I talked about starting Hopeful Horizons Outreach. I researched. I read. I planned. I asked questions. I rewrote documents. I worried about funding, policies, procedures, board members, grants, and every “what if” my brain could dream up.

Looking back, it wasn’t that starting a nonprofit actually required two years.

It took two years because I kept convincing myself I needed one more thing before I could begin.

📚 One more training.

📄 One more policy.

🤔 One more answer.

💭 One more “what if…”

The truth?

I wasn’t preparing.

I was protecting myself from the possibility of failure.

Everything finally changed the day I stopped trying to have every answer and simply decided:

“I’m going to start… and I’ll figure out the next step when I get there.”

Today, Hopeful Horizons Outreach is providing counseling to families across our rural communities.

Not because I finally knew everything…

But because I finally started.

🐜 RESET Your ANTs: When Thinking Becomes the Problem

Overthinking is one of those Automatic Negative Thoughts that disguises itself as being responsible.

It sounds productive.

It feels wise.

But many times, it’s simply anxiety dressed up as preparation.

Here’s the difference:

✅ Planning solves problems.

❌ Overthinking postpones action.

One moves you forward.

The other keeps you stuck in place while convincing you you’re making progress.

Maybe you’ve heard some of these thoughts before…

💬 “I’ll start counseling when life settles down.”

💬 “I need to lose a little weight before I join the gym.”

💬 “I’ll apologize when I find the perfect words.”

💬 “I’ll quit smoking after this stressful season.”

💬 “I’ll start budgeting after my next paycheck.”

💬 “I’ll apply for that promotion after I take one more class.”

💬 “I’ll start that business once I know enough.”

💬 “That lecture to my child just has to work —they’ll surely understand this time.” (Meanwhile, the consequence that would actually teach the lesson never happens.)

💬 “I’ll reach out when they seem less busy.”

Sound familiar?

Sometimes “the right time” isn’t wisdom…

It’s fear wearing a really convincing disguise.

🧠 Why Our ANTs Love Overthinking

Automatic Negative Thoughts love unanswered questions.

“What if I fail?”

“What if they get mad?”

“What if I make the wrong decision?”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

Our brain mistakes certainty for safety.

So instead of making a decision, it tells us to think about it one more day.

One more week.

One more month.

Before we know it, we’ve spent more time preparing to live than actually living.

Remember…

Not every thought deserves another hour of your attention.

Sometimes your next step isn’t to think harder.

Sometimes it’s simply to take the first step.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Co-Parent RESET

I see this one often in co-parenting relationships.

A parent wants or knows they need to communicate something important about their child.

Maybe it’s about school.

Maybe it’s about a doctor’s appointment.

Maybe it’s simply sharing something positive that happened.

But instead of sending the message, they begin overthinking…

“What if they take this the wrong way?”

“What if they argue?”

“What if they use this against me?”

"Well they wouldn't do the same for me."

So they wait.

Or they send a one-word response.

Or they leave out information that could have actually benefited their child.

While those fears may feel understandable, overthinking often creates the very communication breakdown we’re trying to avoid.

🎯 Before hitting send, ask yourself:

“Am I communicating to benefit my child… or am I allowing fear of my co-parent’s reaction to keep me from communicating at all?”

You can’t control how someone else responds or if they do the same in return.

But you can control whether you communicate clearly, respectfully, and in your child’s best interest.

That’s where your responsibility ends.

✅ RESET Challenge

This week, ask yourself one simple question:

Am I planning… or am I overthinking?

Pick ONE thing you’ve been putting off.

--Send the email.

--Schedule the appointment.

--Join the gym.

--Make the phone call.

--Have the conversation.

--Fill out the application.

--Start the project.

You don’t have to know every step.

You only need to know the next one.

As I look back now, Hopeful Horizons Outreach didn’t begin changing lives while it lived inside my computer and notebook.

It started changing lives the day I finally stopped trying to perfect it…

…and simply started.

Maybe this week your next step isn’t to think about it one more time.

Maybe your next step is just…

Begin.

--Hit reply and let me know what that one thing is you've been putting off.. maybe just admitting it to me will be what you need to stop the overthinking and start making the change.

Until next week,

❤️ Tina