Welcome to The Reset Room – Episode 36

Happy Monday, friends! ❤️

I hope each of you had a wonderful Fourth of July weekend and found a little time to relax, spend time with family, or simply slow down for a bit. 🇺🇸

Last week we talked about the Miracle Question...

The responses I received were incredible. Thank you to everyone who replied. It reminded me once again that we all carry hopes, dreams, and areas of our lives that we'd like to see grow.

But something else stood out to me...

Many of the responses were immediately followed by an Automatic Negative Thought (ANT).

✨ "That'll never happen."

✨ "It's too late."

✨ "That's just not realistic."

✨ "I don't have a choice."

Sound familiar?

I caught myself doing the exact same thing.

🪞 My own ANT showed up...

One thing on my Miracle Question list was simple...

"I wouldn't work past 5:00 p.m. on weekdays or any on weekends."

Seems reasonable, right?

Then almost instantly my brain answered back...

"That's impossible."

"You always spend Sundays getting ready for the week."

"There's too much to do."

As therapists, we teach people about Automatic Negative Thoughts all the time...

...and yet mine showed up just as quickly as anyone else's.

That's when I realized something.

Maybe I wasn't asking the right follow-up question.

Instead of asking...

"Is this possible?"

Maybe I should have been asking...

"What part of this is actually within my control?"

💡 And that brings us to this week's reset...

🎯 The Circle of Control

One of my favorite counseling tools is something called the Circle of Control.

When life feels overwhelming, our brains naturally focus on everything we can't control.

The problem?

That's also where anxiety, frustration, resentment, and helplessness tend to grow.

For my example...

❌ Outside My Control

• There are only 24 hours in a day.
• People will continue needing counseling.
• Unexpected situations will happen.
• My schedule will never magically empty itself.

None of those things change because I worry about them.

✅ Inside My Control

• Whether every Sunday has to become a full workday.
• Whether everything has to be perfectly prepared before Monday.
• Whether I answer every email immediately.
• Whether I can delegate something.
• Whether "good enough" is enough sometimes.
• Whether I protect one evening this week instead of trying to change my entire life overnight.

See the difference?

Suddenly my miracle didn't feel impossible anymore.

It just became... smaller.

And smaller is where change usually begins.

🧠 Here's what our ANTs love to do...

They convince us that because we can't control everything, there's no point controlling anything.

But that's simply not true.

We spend so much energy wishing other people would change...

...that we overlook the small choices sitting right in front of us.

Maybe your miracle is having a healthier relationship with a family member.

You can't control whether they apologize.

You can't control whether they change.

You can't control how they communicate.

But...

✅ You can decide how you respond.

✅ You can choose healthy boundaries.

✅ You can continue your own healing.

✅ You can decide the kind of person you want to be, regardless of what someone else chooses.

That's where your power lives.

👇🏻Read the Coparent RESET or scroll down for final RESET.

👨‍👩‍👧 Co-Parenting Reset

This lesson may be one of the hardest—and most freeing—in co-parenting.

You can't control if your co-parent is late.

You can't control what happens in their home.

You can't control whether they follow your advice.

You can control the emotional safety you create in your own home.

You can control your reactions.

You can control the consistency your child experiences when they're with you.

The more time you spend inside your circle of control, the less power someone else has over your peace.

🔄 This Week's Reader Reset

Grab a piece of paper and draw two circles.

In the outside circle, write everything that's weighing on you that you cannot control.

Then, in the inside circle, write just one thing you can do this week in your control to get you closer to your ideal life.

Not ten things.

Not your entire miracle.

Just one.

Because progress rarely happens in giant leaps.

It happens one small decision at a time.

❤️ Sometimes the biggest reset isn't changing your whole life...

It's simply moving your attention from everything you can't control to the one thing you can.

I'd love to hear from you again this week.

What's ONE thing inside your circle of control that you're committing to this week?

Mine is going to be... stopping work by 3:30 PM on Sunday (My ANT would not let me pick 3:00) 😳

Hit reply and let me know yours. I read every response, and your stories often inspire me and future newsletters.

Until next week...

❤️ Tina