Welcome to the latest edition of The Reset Room, edition #42 where you will receive tips, strategies and insights about all things mental health with a focus on ways to do a reset on some of the things in your life that may be leading to distress.

Who Told You to Stay Small?

Last week you were to pay attention to moments you were complimented and respond with a "thank you".

Along the same lines as this concept....

Have you ever caught yourself doing one of these?

🙋‍♀️ Apologizing before you even ask a question.

🙋‍♀️ Downplaying something you’re proud of because you don’t want people to think you’re bragging.

🙋‍♀️ Staying quiet even though you had something valuable to say.

🙋‍♀️ Waiting until you’re “more qualified” before trying something new.

🙋‍♀️ Making yourself just a little bit smaller so everyone else feels comfortable.

If so…

Can I ask you a question?

Who told you to stay small?

💭 Somewhere Along the Way…

Very few of us wake up one morning and decide to shrink ourselves.

It usually happens slowly.

Maybe you were praised for always being easygoing.

Maybe you learned not to rock the boat.

Maybe someone accused you of being “too much.”

Too loud.

Too emotional.

Too confident.

Too ambitious.

So, without realizing it, you began editing yourself.

You stopped raising your hand.

You stopped celebrating your wins.

You stopped sharing your ideas.

You stopped believing you deserved to take up space.

Playing Small Feels Safe… Until It Doesn’t

Our brains are wired to avoid rejection.

If shrinking ourselves helped us avoid criticism in the past, our brain remembers that.

It whispers…

“Don’t say anything.”

“Someone else probably knows more.”

“Don’t draw attention to yourself.”

“What if they think you’re full of yourself?”

The problem is…

The same strategy that once protected you may now be preventing you from becoming who you’re meant to be.

💛 My Personal RESET

As I’ve reflected on these past few newsletters, I’ve realized something about myself.

There have been seasons of my life where I held back—not because I didn’t have ideas, but because I worried about how they might be received.

Would people think I was bragging?

Would they think I was trying to be something I’m not?

Would I disappoint people if I failed?

Looking back, I can see how much energy I spent trying to make sure everyone else was comfortable.

But here’s what I’m learning…

Taking up space isn’t about believing you’re better than anyone else.

It’s about believing you have something worthwhile to offer.

Those are two very different things.

👇🏻Read the Coparent RESET or scroll down for final RESET.

Co-Parenting RESET

Playing small can show up in co-parenting too.

Maybe you don’t speak up about something your child needs because you’re afraid it will create conflict.

Maybe you constantly second-guess your instincts.

Maybe you apologize for asking for information you’re entitled to have.

Healthy co-parenting isn’t about being the loudest voice.

It’s about being a calm, confident advocate for your child.

Your voice matters.

Your perspective matters.

And respectfully expressing your concerns isn’t selfish.

It’s parenting.

This Week’s RESET Challenge

This week, notice the moments when you make yourself smaller.

When you apologize unnecessarily.

When you don’t speak up.

When you dismiss an accomplishment.

When you hold back an idea.

Pause and ask yourself…

“Am I being humble… or am I hiding?”

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn’t becoming louder.

Sometimes it’s simply refusing to disappear.

💛 Before You Go…

As I was writing this newsletter, I couldn’t help but think about how these conversations have evolved over the past several months.

We’ve talked about changing our thoughts…

Changing our habits…

Learning to trust ourselves…

Receiving encouragement…

And now giving ourselves permission to stop shrinking.

Maybe that’s what growth really is.

Not becoming someone completely different…

But slowly uncovering the person who has been there all along.

So here’s my challenge for you this week:

Choose one place where you’ve been making yourself smaller.

Maybe it’s sharing an idea.

Maybe it’s accepting a compliment.

Maybe it’s setting a boundary.

Maybe it’s applying for something you’ve convinced yourself you’re not ready for.

Maybe it’s simply believing your voice matters.

Whatever it is…

Take up just a little more space this week than you did last week.

You don’t have to become the loudest person in the room.

You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

Just stop hiding parts of yourself that the world might actually need.

And one more thing…

Thank you.

Thank you for reading, for replying, for sharing your stories, and for allowing me to grow right alongside you. These conversations have challenged me just as much as I hope they’ve challenged you.

I have a feeling we’re just getting started.

Until next time…

Keep resetting.

— Tina