Welcome to the latest edition of The Reset Room, where you will receive tips, strategies and insights about all things mental health with a focus on ways to do a reset on some of the things in your life that may be leading to distress.

The RESET Room – Edition #41

Just Say “Thank You.”

Last week’s newsletter was about building self-confidence by doing the things you tell yourself you’re going to do instead of just saying, “I was gonna…”

I received several thoughtful replies, but one in particular really stuck with me.

A reader shared that while they’re getting better at following through on commitments, they still struggle when someone notices. They find themselves brushing off compliments, downplaying accomplishments, or feeling uncomfortable when someone expresses appreciation.

As I read their message, I had one of those moments where I thought…

“Wait… I do that too.”

Even with my husband.

If he tells me I did a great job on something, my first instinct is usually to explain why it wasn’t really that impressive or point out what I could have done better.

Growing up, I also remember being careful not to appear “too proud” of myself. I worried that if I celebrated an accomplishment or accepted praise too easily, someone might think I was bragging. Sometimes I even held myself back because I didn’t want to stand out too much.

Maybe you’ve been there too.

When Humility Gets Confused with Self-Rejection

Many of us were raised with good intentions.

“Be humble.”

“Don’t get a big head.”

“Don’t brag.”

Those are valuable lessons… until we accidentally turn them into something very different.

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that accepting a compliment somehow meant we were being arrogant.

So instead of saying:

“Thank you.”

We say things like:

“It wasn’t that good.”

“Anybody could have done it.”

“I just got lucky.”

“I still have a long way to go.”

Without realizing it, we’re arguing with someone who simply wanted to encourage us.

Your Brain May Be Playing a Trick on You

One of the thinking errors we often discuss in counseling is called discounting the positive.

It’s when your brain dismisses evidence that doesn’t match the story you’ve been telling yourself.

Someone says…

“You’re a great parent.”

Your brain replies…

“If they only knew how much I mess up.”

Someone compliments your work.

Your brain immediately focuses on the one thing you wish you had done differently.

The compliment doesn’t even have time to land before you’ve already talked yourself out of believing it.

That’s not humility.

That’s a thinking habit.

And like every thinking habit, it can be changed.

💛 A Personal RESET

This week, I caught myself doing exactly what I wrote about above.

Someone thanked me for something I’d done, and before I even realized it, I was explaining why it wasn’t really a big deal.

I stopped myself mid-sentence as I thought of my readers' reply.

I smiled.

And I simply said…

“Thank you.”

It felt surprisingly uncomfortable.

Which made me realize just how automatic that old habit had become and it was then I knew this was a message for others.

👇🏻Read the Coparent RESET or scroll down for final RESET.

🤝 Co-Parenting RESET

This shows up in co-parenting relationships too.

Maybe your co-parent says,

“Thanks for switching weekends.”

Or…

“I appreciate you taking care of that.”

Sometimes our first reaction is suspicion.

“What do they want?”

Other times we minimize it.

“It wasn’t anything.”

But healthy co-parenting isn’t just about communicating during conflict.

It’s also about allowing moments of appreciation to exist without immediately dismissing or questioning them.

A sincere “You’re welcome” or “Thank you” can quietly build trust more and more over time.

✅ This Week’s RESET Challenge

For the next seven days, I want you to try one simple experiment.

When someone gives you a compliment…

When someone thanks you…

When someone notices something positive about you…

Don’t explain it away.

Don’t minimize it.

Don’t redirect it.

Just smile…

and say,

“Thank you.”

Then notice how it feels.

If it’s uncomfortable, that’s okay.

Sometimes discomfort isn’t a sign you’re doing something wrong.

Sometimes it’s simply evidence that you’re growing beyond an old belief.

💛 Before You Go…

I’ve been working on something behind the scenes that I’m really excited about.

If you’ve been reading these newsletters each week, you’ve probably noticed a common thread. We’ve talked about changing our thinking, building healthier habits, keeping promises to ourselves, and now learning to receive encouragement.

There’s a reason.

I’m slowly building something that will help us put these ideas into practice together—not just read about them.

It’s still taking shape, but I can’t wait to share more with you later this year.

Until then…

Keep resetting.

One thought…

One habit…

One “thank you” at a time.

— Tina