I’m a counselor, counselor supervisor, and parenting facilitator/coordinator passionate about mental health — especially when it comes to helping families navigate coparenting. My focus is on reducing the stress and conflict that can impact both adults and children. Subscribe and join over 1,000+ newsletter readers each week.
What would you attempt if failure didn't count?
|
Welcome to the latest edition of The Reset Room, where you will receive tips, strategies and insights about all things mental health with a focus on ways to do a reset on some of the things in your life that may be leading to distress. The RESET Room – Episode 39What If Failure Isn’t the Enemy?Happy Monday, friends! 👋 First… thank you. Last week’s newsletter on overthinking generated more responses than any I’ve ever had. ❤️ It reminded me why I love writing these each week. So many of you replied with your own stories, and one response especially stuck with me. A reader narrowed down that their overthinking was tied to one bigger problem… Their fear of failure. That got me thinking. Maybe procrastination isn’t always about laziness. Maybe it isn’t even about overthinking. Maybe sometimes… it’s about protecting ourselves from what failure might say about us. 💭 My Personal RESETYears ago I read John Maxwell’s book Failing Forward. The title has always stayed with me. Not because I enjoy failing… But because I realized somewhere along the way I had started believing failure was something to avoid at all costs. Looking back, I can honestly say that was part of the reason Hopeful Horizons Outreach took me so long to launch. I told myself I was preparing. I wanted the website polished. The board organized. The brochures perfect. The policies complete. Everything needed to be “ready.” But if I’m being honest… I wasn’t just preparing. I was protecting myself. Because if I never launched… I never had to risk failing. One day I realized something that changed my perspective: If I wait until failure isn’t possible… I’ll also guarantee success never is. That one realization finally gave me permission to begin. 🧠 Your Brain Doesn’t Fear Failure…It Fears What Failure Means. Our brains are incredible at making quick associations. The problem is… They’re often wrong. We don’t just think… “I failed.” Our brain quietly changes it to… ❌ “I’m a failure.” We don’t think… “That conversation didn’t go well.” We think… ❌ “I’m terrible at communicating.” We don’t think… “That opportunity didn’t work out.” We think… ❌ “I’m not good enough.” See what happened? The event became our identity. As we have been talking about in past weeks, we call these Automatic Negative Thoughts… those sneaky little ANTs that convince us one experience defines who we are. It doesn’t. Failure is something you experience. It is not something you become. 🔄 A RESET PerspectiveWhat if… Instead of asking, ❓ “What if I fail?” You asked, ✅ “What might I learn?” Instead of, ❓ “What will people think?” Ask, ✅ “Who might I help if I stop waiting?” Instead of chasing perfection… Chase progress. Because perfection has an impossible standard. Progress simply asks you to take the next step. 👇🏻Read the Coparent RESET or scroll down for final RESET. 👨👩👧 Co-Parenting RESETFear of failure quietly shows up in co-parenting, too. Sometimes a parent knows they need to set a healthier boundary… …but they’re afraid it won’t work. “What if my child gets angry?” “What if my co-parent criticizes me?” “What if I make things worse?” So… Nothing changes. But here’s the truth: Children don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who are willing to try… Learn… Adjust… Apologize when needed… And keep showing up. Healthy parenting isn’t about getting it right every time. It’s about growing right in front of your children. That’s one of the greatest gifts we can give them. ✍️ This Week’s RESET ChallengeI have a simple challenge for you this week. Think about that one thing you’ve been avoiding, the one many of you identified with your reply from last week. Now finish this sentence: “If I fail…“ Whatever came to your mind first… Write it down. Then ask yourself one more question. Is that actually true… Or is that my fear talking? Sometimes the story we tell ourselves about failure is far more painful than failure itself. ❤️ Reader RESET I’d love to hear from you again this week. Hit reply and finish this sentence: “I’ve been afraid to ______ because…“ No judgment. No fixing. Just awareness. Because awareness is where change begins. And maybe… Just maybe… John Maxwell had it right all along. Successful people aren’t the ones who avoid failure. They’re the ones who refuse to let failure have the final word. Until next week… Keep resetting. ❤️ — Tina |
Tina Souder, M.Ed., LPC-S
I’m a counselor, counselor supervisor, and parenting facilitator/coordinator passionate about mental health — especially when it comes to helping families navigate coparenting. My focus is on reducing the stress and conflict that can impact both adults and children. Subscribe and join over 1,000+ newsletter readers each week.
Welcome to the latest edition of The Reset Room, edition #42 where you will receive tips, strategies and insights about all things mental health with a focus on ways to do a reset on some of the things in your life that may be leading to distress. Who Told You to Stay Small? Last week you were to pay attention to moments you were complimented and respond with a "thank you". Along the same lines as this concept.... Have you ever caught yourself doing one of these? 🙋♀️ Apologizing before you...
Welcome to the latest edition of The Reset Room, where you will receive tips, strategies and insights about all things mental health with a focus on ways to do a reset on some of the things in your life that may be leading to distress. The RESET Room – Edition #41 Just Say “Thank You.” Last week’s newsletter was about building self-confidence by doing the things you tell yourself you’re going to do instead of just saying, “I was gonna…” I received several thoughtful replies, but one in...
Welcome to the latest edition of The Reset Room, where you will receive tips, strategies and insights about all things mental health with a focus on ways to do a reset on some of the things in your life that may be leading to distress. The RESET Room #40 “I Was Gonna…“ When my youngest son was still living at home, he developed a habit that kept me mindful of keeping my word. Every once in a while, I’d catch myself saying… “I was gonna do that.” Maybe it was picking up something from the...